Category: Latest Releases by Wolfsmasher

Pretty Much Just One Shade of Brown, Part 1

Pretty Much Just One Shade of Brown (Part I) by OJ Wolfsmasher

  • Pretty Much Just One Shade of Brown (Part I) by OJ Wolfsmasher
  • Kindle Edition | Smashwords
  • ISBN: 9781301244485
  • Word Count: 5,877
  • Genre: Satire, Parody
  • Members Only Download Links: [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=135 linktext=EPUB /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=136 linktext=MOBI /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=137 linktext=PDF /]

Pretty Much Just One Shade of Brown, Part 1------------

What does it look like when an author rage-quits her or his culture? It probably looks a lot like this parody of Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm so sorry. (With special appearances by Justin Bieber and superchef Bobby Flay.)

------------ Author's Note

WARNING: contains extremely veiled sexual innuendo and explicit satire of some horrible ideas.
Get Acquainted with Mr Grief by OJ Wolfsmasher

Get Acquainted With Mr. Grief (Pilot Episode) by OJ Wolfsmasher

  • Get Acquainted With Mr. Grief (Pilot Episode) by OJ Wolfsmasher
  • Kindle Edition | Smashwords
  • ISBN: 9781301400768
  • Word Count: 6,327
  • Genre: Literary Fiction, Christian Fantasy
  • Members Only Download Links: [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=132 linktext=EPUB /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=133 linktext=MOBI /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=134 linktext=PDF /]

Get Acquainted with Mr Grief by OJ Wolfsmasher------------

Paul is a messenger from God, but he is not an angel. At least, he doesn't think he is. In this Pilot Episode, his mission to an Atlanta megachurch brings him face-to-face with an out-of-control Pastor whose crapulence forces him to confront his own tragic past.
Zombiez by OJ Wolfsmasher

Zombiez! by OJ Wolfsmasher

  • Zombiez! by OJ Wolfsmasher
  • Kindle Edition | Smashwords
  • ISBN: 9781301877065
  • Word Count: 12,450
  • Genre: Undead Horror, Black comedy
  • Members Download Links: [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=101 linktext=EPUB /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=103 linktext=MOBI /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=102 linktext=PDF /]

Zombiez by OJ Wolfsmasher------------

During a zombie apocalypse, eight seemingly random people take shelter in a spooky chapel in the middle of the woods. In this bleak black comedy, OJ Wolfsmasher mines the depths of the human condition and finds lawsuits, bribery, shotguns, performance-enhancing drugs, Death Panels, killer wedgies, pick-up artists, marital affairs, hallucinations, bad accents, forced massages, contracts to beat up Priests, deviled ham, money-filled briefcases, Apple stores, Elder-like Gods, fish-monsters, and lots of zombies. There's more, too, but how many more cool keywords do you need before you'll read this? Seriously, it's like Lovecraft meets the TV show LOST with a backdrop of zombie hordes. If you're not interested in that, then there's something wrong with you.

------------ Author Notes

Warning: This story might be offensive to those who don't like:
  • Cusswords
  • Bleeped-out cusswords
  • Bodily fluids
  • The Occult
  • Frank depictions of evil
Love Can Be Scary

Love Can Be Scary by OJ Wolfsmasher

  • Love Can Be Scary by OJ Wolfsmasher
  • Kindle Edition | Smashwords
  • ISBN: 9781476476001
  • Word Count: 4,298 (approximate)
  • Genre: Romance, Humor & Comedy
  • Members Download Links: [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=92 linktext=EPUB /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=94 linktext=MOBI /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=93 linktext=PDF /]

Love Can Be Scary------------

From the demented mind of OJ Wolfsmasher comes a molotov cocktail of a love story destined to not ever wind up on the same bookshelf as any book from Nicholas Sparks. It will either make you reconsider what you think about everything, or just make you angry. You won't find out until you read it. Fanjanko meets a beautiful and mysterious woman who turns his life upside down and shakes it like an etch-a-sketch. Is she everything he's ever wanted, or is she just playing a dangerous game?

------------ Author's Notes

Unlike some of my work, I have a feeling that this one won't be so well-received. It, like most literature today, started as a "Twilight" fanfic (satire's a type of fanfic, right?). But then I switched the genders of the main characters, switched pirates for vampires, and added a bunch of stuff that has been bouncing around my head for a while. I'm quite pleased with the result, though I'm not sure you will be. I dare you to read this and find out.
Walter's Graduation

Walter’s Graduation by OJ Wolfsmasher

  • Walter's Graduation by OJ Wolfsmasher
  • Kindle Edition | Smashwords
  • ISBN: 9781476387512
  • Word Count: 4,122 (approximate)
  • Genre: Literary, Black Comedy
  • Members Download Links: [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=98 linktext=EPUB /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=100 linktext=MOBI /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=99 linktext=PDF /]

Walter's Graduation------------

Some students like to study, and some don't. Walter McDuke has never been what you'd call an active learner. But what happens when he needs an "A" in order to avoid summer school? Hilarity, that's what. And also cheating and blood.

------------ Author's Notes

I wrote this a while back, and recently re-mastered it to maximize its awesomeness. It may or may not be set in my old high school.
questionsculture-thumb

Questions For A Culture That Has Closed Its Mind by OJ Wolfsmasher

  • Questions For A Culture That Has Closed Its Mind by OJ Wolfsmasher
  • Kindle Edition | Smashwords [s2If current_user_can(access_s2member_level1)](Use 100% off coupon code YV63K)[/s2If][s2If current_user_is(s2member_level0)](Upgrade your subscription to view the 100% off coupon.)[/s2If][s2If !is_user_logged_in()](Only registered members can view the 100% off coupon. Register for free or log in to your account.)[/s2If]
  • ISBN: 9781466128675
  • Genre:  Short Story; or, maybe a test?
  • Word Count:  8,833
  • Members Download Links: [s2If current_user_can(access_s2member_level0)][wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=95 linktext=EPUB /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=97 linktext=MOBI /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=96 linktext=PDF /][/s2If][s2If current_user_is(s2member_level0)] If you can't see the link, please upgrade your subscription.[/s2If][s2If !is_user_logged_in()]Only registered members can view the download link. Register for free or log in to your account.[/s2If]

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Q: Are they stories, or are they test? A: They're both! From OJ Wolfsmasher comes a delightful experiment in fiction that will grab your brain by the ear and force it to consider new possibilities. In this first set of questions you'll meet a man who can fly, a cat with free will, a woman who hates aliens, and much, much more.
headsdontexpand-thumb

Helmets Do Not Expand with Heads by OJ Wolfsmasher

  • Helmets Do Not Expand With Heads by OJ Woflsmasher
  • Kindle Edition | Smashwords (Use 100% Off Coupon XF65Y)
  • ISBN: 9781466135444
  • Genre:  short story
  • Word count:  approx
  • Download Links: [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=89 linktext=EPUB /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=90 linktext=MOBI /] | [wpfilebase tag=fileurl id=91 linktext=PDF /]

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Have you ever wondered what NFL players were actually thinking between plays? With so many suffering head injuries, it's a shame that helmets don't expand with heads... this would surely help them think more clearly... In this inaugural work by OJ Wolfsmasher, Mark, an NFL star, psychoanalyzes his predicament, the other players, and the particular play he is executing. Who would have thought that in the time it takes for a football play to reset, a NFL football players could delve into existential self-reflection and analysis of the universal situation? It is not so hard to imagine if the player involved thinks he's the center of the universe.